Honey mustard chicken becomes 'honey bastard chicken'.Warren MendesJar sauce doesn't cut the mustard for comedian andquarantine cooking sensation Nat's What I Reckon. Here are four from-scratch recipes from hiscookbook.
Honey bastard chicken
Honey mustard chicken is the most f---en relentlessly requested recipe on the[YouTube] channel and probably one of the most Defqon.1-level jar sauce abominations to ever hit the shelves. It's such rotten garbage that I went totally off that bastard of a sickly-sweet dish for years,but I'M BACK CHAMPIONS AND WE'VE FIXED IT!
The idea is to help you escape any chance of having to eat that trash again. I've loved a bit of sweet and savoury action all the way back to an unhealthy obsession with Lemon Crisp biscuits as a kid. I actually did an advert for Pizza Shapes when I was 11 years old and I got paid in Lemon Crisp biscuits … Dad ate half of them,I think. Anyway,I'm getting a little off track here – this isn't a freaken recipe for biscuits,but it is one for sweet and savoury chicken radness.
INGREDIENTS
Death to Jar Sauce:Rad Recipes for Champions.Ebury Australia- 8 medium or 6 large skin-on boneless chicken thighs
- salt
- 1 tbsp vegetable oil
- 25g unsalted butter
- 1 onion,sliced
- 1 small bunch parsley,stalks and leaves chopped,but kept separate
- 6 garlic cloves,chopped
- 1 tbsp thyme leaves,chopped
- 2 tbsp Dijon mustard
- 2 tbsp wholegrain mustard
- 1½ tbsp honey
- ½ cup white wine
- 1 cup chicken stock or water
- 3 tsp plain flour
- 125g creme fraiche or sour cream (full-fat stuff works best)
Shakshuka is one of those f---en brekkie all-timers. Whether you're trying to impress someone with your seemingly wild"dinner for breakfast"moves,or blow the minds of your hungover mates at a bush doof with this one-pan wonder,shakkas has got the lot. Seriously,you can even make this on a camp stove rather than eating another load of punishingly over-spiced curry out of a paper bowl. Don't do that . . . do this.
INGREDIENTS
- 1 red onion
- 1 red capsicum
- 1 bunch coriander or parsley,washed and dried
- 1–2 red chillies,halved and deseeded
- 4+ garlic cloves (go on,bang in a whole f---en garlic bulb)
- 3 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
- 1 tsp cumin seeds
- ½– 1 tsp hot paprika
- 1 tsp cayenne pepper
- 2 cans quality whole peeled tomatoes
- 1 tsp brown sugar
- 4–6 eggs
- 100g crumbled feta and trendy toast,to serve
METHOD
- Righty'o Joe. Peel and dice the red onion,de-seed the capsicum,dice it up and bang all that in a bowl together.
- Grab a bunch of coriander (or parsley if you hate coriander,ya weirdo),cut the hairy a--- off it,then roughly cut the stalk part away from the foliage part up the top. Keep the leafy bit aside and chop the stalks up (that's right,chop the stalks) and bang them in the same bowl as the onions and capsicum. Cut up your chilli/chillies and place in a vessel with as much roughly diced garlic as you think is reasonable . . . just kidding,all the garlic!
- Grab yourself a pan that has a lid and is at least a few inches deep and heat up the olive oil on a medium–high heat. Fang in the cumin seeds along with your bowl of onion and capsicum. Let that rock along for a few minutes until the veg start to soften.
- Then comes the bit that always makes everyone say that cliché,"Wow that smells amazing,what are youuuuu cooookiiinnnnggg?"To which you can reply . . . again,"Oh,that's probably the garlic"that will of course incidentally have the chilli land in the pan with it too,which is great'cause we need to cook that as well as the paprika and cayenne at this point. Give it all a stir and cook for a minute or two.
- Into the pan go your cans of whole tomatoes,breaking them apart with a wooden spoon like a couple of hippie tourists arguing over whether Byron Bay has sold out to the point of being uncool now. Half-fill one of the emptied tomato cans with water and then,oddly enough,tip that into the other empty tin,therefore rinsing both of their remaining tomatoeyness together as you tip all that prattle-on into the pan as well. Flick in a teaspoon of brown sugar along with a pinch of salt and a crack of pepper. Try not to go too hard on the salt,'cause there's no coming down off that high easily.
- Turn the heat right down and simmer simmer ya big winner for 15 minutes,or enough time to pump out a cuppla eye-wateringly bad Ben Harper covers on the melodeon,likely with some guitar-tapping a---hole called Wish who can't decide whether he's a guitarist,s--- drummer or ascending to another dimension full of annoying f---wits like him.
- After that whole scene has ended,bung 4–6 ding-holes into the sauce and crack ya eggs directly into them,so the thickened sauce stops the egg from running everywhere. Cook that for another 10 minutes on low with a lid on it until the eggs are cooked,or better yet – if you happen to be at a place of residence that has both a shower AND A f---en OVEN – crank the oven to 200C fan- forced (or 220C non fan-inated),fang it in that instead for 10 and go have a shower and take a long hard look at yourself,ya pest.
- Once the eggs look f---en cooked enough for your cooked head,throw a bit of the leftover coriander/parsley leaves over it with some feta,serve it with some trendy sourdough toast or just f---en bread. F--- it,even slam on a bit of hot sauce. A dish so good it will even offer your shattered a--- a ride home from the doof.
Serves 3-4
Gimme the fritz
Photo:Warren MendesBloody love a good fritter,but f--- me there are a few trash recipes out there for them. I,too,am responsible for making some rough ones in my time that just fell apart or tasted like poorly thought out ideas. I went on that f---en bananas keto diet once and ate zucchini fritters every day for a month'cause it was seemingly the only green vegetable I could eat without going over my carb allowance. Spent the whole month hating life. Worst.
Anyway,these are bloody awesome and the flour in them means not only are they going to stick together properly,but they're also incidentally going to launch you lovingly out of ketosis in a rocket ship full of flavours. The stress levels could not be lower for this dish,which is sometimes what is important when accelerating at full hunger speed towards the kitchen. Smiles for miles,I tells ya.
Photo:Warren MendesWhen I first discovered what mayonnaise was actually made out of,my f---en head almost flew clean off my shoulders in amazement:"EGGS AND OIL?"I said to my dad."Yes,"he replied.
There are so many incredible dishes out there that are just as good,if not better,when made as vegan. This here is a champagne example of exactly that;you don't need even the eggs to make a righteous mayo and I'll prove it to ya. The liquid that your canned chickpeas float around in is the replacement for the eggs,and believe it or not it goes off like a vegan frog in a sock.
INGREDIENTS
- 400g can chickpeas,drained but liquid reserved for the mayo
- 2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
- salt
- ½ tsp finely ground black pepper
- 1 tsp chilli flakes
- ¼ red cabbage
- ¼ white cabbage
- 1 small red onion,peeled
- 1 large carrot,peeled
- 1 tsp celery or sesame seeds,crushed
Vegan mayo
- 2 tsp Dijon mustard
- ⅓ cup aquafaba (the liquid from a chickpea tin)
- 2 tsp apple cider vinegar
- 300ml vegetable oil
- juice of half lemon
- sea salt flakes
METHOD
- "What the flip – I need an oven for this?"Yeah,kind of. Switch your oven to 180C fan-forced (200C conventional). Line a pan or tray with baking paper. Fetch your chicky boiz,drain the legendary aquafaba (the liquid from them) into a bowl. Chickpeas are f---ing rad for a lot of reasons,by the way – they are a macronutrient goal-kicking lord – and they taste legendary,too. Once you've reserved the liquid from them,give'em a rinse,pat dry and chuck in a mixing bowl with 2 tablespoons olive oil along with a pinch of salt,a grind of pepper and the chilli flakes. Toss all that together and pour onto the baking tray then fang in the oven for 15–20 minutes until crispy. Remove and let them cool right down.
- Shred your cabbages and onion as fine as you can/like into a large bowl. You can use a mandolin if you own one (no,not the small guitar) or a sharp knife to get you across the line. Grate the carrot into it the bowl,add your seeds and give a good toss together.
- Now let's mayo rage. There are a few ways you can make this happen:The first way is with a stick blender bunged into a jug/container just wider than the head of the stick blender itself. Whizz up the mustard,aquafaba and vinegar,then slowly drizzle in the oil as you crank the blender up and down until it makes the mixture into a classic mayo consistency. Finally,whizz in the lemon juice,and salt to taste. I prefer to use a whisk so start with the Dijon,aquafaba and vinegar in a bowl,whisking it together to combine,before slowly tipping in the oil a bit at a time and whisking the f--- out of it until it gets thick enough,followed by the lemon at the end and salt. Again,taste it,and when it suits you,you're ready to walk incidentally down Vegan Coleslaw Street.
- Add ⅔ cup of that awesome'slauwce'to your veg bowl (the rest will keep in the fridge for a couple of weeks),fang in your crispy chickpeas along with a pinch of salt and a crack of pepps,if you wanna,and toss it all together. Feel free to add more of the mayo if you like it a bit more sauce heavy,it's your adventure,Zelda. Now that,my friend,is a f---en beauty of a coleslaw and not a sickly-sweet bowl of wet shit that belongs in the confectionary section.
Serves4–6 as a side
This is an edited extract ofNat's What I Reckon Death to Jar Sauce:Rad Recipes for Champions, Ebury Australia,$34.99. Photos by Warren Mendes.Buy now