While some were upgrading their cars,Dad drove the same second-hand Toyota for years. While some overextended themselves to buy their dream house,we lived comfortably in a small apartment.
Why do we insist that specifically money doesn’t buy happiness? What’s wrong with having it both ways?Simon Letch
I remember Dad sitting me down in primary school to explain the difference between “wants” and “needs” and the perpetual roller-coaster of emotions that attachment to material desires could cause.
I was taught early on that material possessions can’t give you lasting fulfilment. It was a profound teaching to get at a young age. It almost seems ironic that I would go on to spend much of my working life talking about money – the most material of possessions,perhaps.
Now,having worked with so many to transform their relationship with money,I’ve seen both sides. So,I can appreciate the truth to this sentiment but also see the nuance that doesn’t get talked about enough.
The truth is thatnothingcan give you happiness. Happiness and fulfilment are internal states.
No one is walking around telling you that religion,education,career,family also do not guarantee happiness. Why single out money?
No external circumstance or possession – family,children,a great job,a beautiful body,nice clothes,good health – can guarantee lasting happiness or fulfilment.
But all those things can impact your wellbeing and how easy or hard it may be for you to cultivate an environment or make choices that are more conducive to happiness.
This is supported by research which shows the household’s level of net wealth,assets and debt are important determinants of overall life satisfaction and financial wellbeing. While research once claimed that happiness doesn’t increase beyond $75,000 income,this has now been debunked.
So,it’s always been curious to me – why do we insist that specifically money doesn’t buy happiness? No one is walking around telling you that religion,education,career or family do not guarantee happiness. Why single out money?
Partly because it’s one area of life many of us seem to carry the most unrealistic expectations about. Many of us live in a state of deferred happiness believing,“When I have $X,then I’ll feel (insert emotion).”
But it’s also a way to soothe our feelings of shame or inadequacy if we aren’t where we want to be. It’s the classic “I didn’t want it anyway” response to not getting something we doubt is possible for us to have.
In the latter instance,you might experience:
So,do you genuinely believe that money doesn’t buy happiness? Or is that a mantra that allows you to avoid uncomfortable feelings?
If you’re in the latter camp – where it’s easier to tell yourself that “money isn’t everything” as a way to soothe your financial anxiety – here are some perspective shifts that can help:
What if we didn’t make money and happiness mutually exclusive goals,as though we have to choose one or the other? What if we could appreciate that each plays an important role in our lives?
After all,money won’t make you happy,but neither will the lack of it. So,why not have both?
Paridhi Jain is the founder of,which helps adults learn to manage,save and invest their money through financial education courses and classes.
Expert tips on how to save,invest and make the most of your money delivered to your inbox every Sunday..