This week,the Australian cricket team was beaten in the World Cup by ... Afghanistan. We barely blinked.
Did you hear that? We Australians,who in the realms of cricket regard ourselves as the Masters of the Universe,were beaten by little ol’ Afghanistan,and then knocked out of the tournament when they beat Bangladesh.
Aussie Test gun Usman Khawaja said he "couldn't stop laughing" at Afghanistan's delay tactics in their T20 World Cup clash against Bangladesh that knocked Australia out.
Until a few years ago,the fact that Afghanistan even played cricket was unknown to most of us. And yet here we were,in a genuine international World Cup,humiliated by a team that just one of our opening batsmen could likely buy and sell 10 times over on their IPL salaries,and no-one cared. No wringing of hands. No thundering columns that I could see,let alone be bothered to write. No nothing. Barely even a pub or water-cooler conversation,beyond the fact that David Warner’s career is finally over.
Why such little reaction? I say it is because when it comes to T20 matches of any description,even the most rabid fans have the memory of a goldfish and the attention span of a gnat. We-lost-so-what-else-is-on-the-tube?
It is bubble-gum cricket,sweet at first,but once the bubble is burst,that’s the end of it – at least in Australia.
Afghanistan players celebrate their T20 World Cup win against Australia.AP
In the country of our opponents,it has to be noted the match will be remembered for some time.
For the only upside of the whole thing was the joy it brought to Afghanistan itself. Bravo the team’s achievement,and it was not for nothing that players and coaches shed tears of joy afterwards. But it was the reaction at home that is most touching. I quote the wire services:
Faraz Khan,a resident of Nangarhar,said about this advancement:“Only cricket makes us a competitor to the world and brings us the joy of the entire world.”
Fazal Rahman,a resident of Kabul,said:“It created extreme happiness. Although Afghanistan has no happiness,cricket has brought a lot of joy. Some laughed,some cried,and some were so happy that they couldn’t even speak.”
Afghanistan fans were delighted during the World Cup.Getty Images
Nangyali,one of the residents of Kunar province,said:“We came to the square where there was a cake ceremony. All the fans expressed their joy there.”
Congratulations to them.
Boom,tish
You will have noted,yes,that Frank Duckworth,co-creator of the Duckworth-Lewis-Stern method famously used to work out who should win short-form cricket matches when they are weather-affected,has passed away aged 84? Well,I am advised that his co-founder,Anthony Lewis,is only going to have to live to 75 to beat him!
Blues are back. Or,are they?
To reprise a theme,I did indeed send this to my editor an hour before the Origin II kick-off,asking if it might suffice as my column,so I could have an early night.
Another huge disappointment
By Peter FitzSimons
NSW lost,and Latrell didn’t live up to the hype.
Wake me up,when September comes.
The End.
He said no,and made me watch it. And we all know the result. It was nothing less than extraordinary and close to the most unheard of thing anyone had ever heard of. 38-18!
And yes,it seems obvious to me,too,that any team that can dominate to that extent in Melbourne,must be able to at least come up with a win in Brissie to take the series. But there’s this:We of NSW have lost – dot three,carry one,subtract most of ’em –nine of the last 10 deciders. And when those deciders have been in Queensland,we’ve only won two of 13. History is firmly against the Blues.
Noel Gallagher watches a Manchester City match.Getty Images
Oasis’ dalliance with Man City governance
I never really got Oasis. But I’m told that when they were big,they were so big they were compared to the Beatles. As a matter of fact,they were sooooo big,that when they were at their absolute height the chairman of Manchester City wanted to add the Gallagher brothers,who are lifetime fans of the club,to their board.
“[Manchester City manager] Franny Lee tried to get us to invest in the club,” Noel Gallagher recounted toThe Athletic earlier this month. “We went for lunch with him and a couple of others at the old Platt Lane training ground. They’d renamed the canteen the Oasis Suite,and they’d come up with this crazy marketing idea on the basis that,at the time,they didn’t have an official No.1 on the books.”
Go on,Noel,and what happened then?
Franny Lee:“We’ll sign you,officially,and it will be Gallagher as City’s No 1.” Noel Gallagher:“Listen,if you give me a contract,I’m turning up for training.” Franny Lee:“Are you fast? Are you tricky?”
“No,but I’m f***ing dirty.”
Alex de Minaur had a surprise first-round loss at the Queen’s club championships.Getty Images
Demon,our hopes go with thee
As if you didn’t know,Wimbledon starts on Monday. Our best hope is the mighty Alex de Minaur who did so well at the French Open,he roared up to his highest ranking of No. 7 in the world. He’s in shape,raring to go,and I interviewed him a couple of days ago for an article that will be published in full inThe Sun-Heraldin print and online. Here is a quick burst of my second favourite bit.
Fitz: So let’s jump forward to the Wimbledon final. You’ve made it! You’re up against Carlos Alcaraz. We at home are looking at you,wondering what you are thinking as you take it to him. Is there a voice that you hear in your head in those moments?
AdM:[Thoughtfully.] In an ideal world,when I’m at my very best,I’m in this kind of flow state where I’m just . . . very fluid. My ideas are clear and are coming naturally. I don’t actuallyhave to think,as it’s all instinct,and that’s the state I want to be in. But when things get a little bit more choppy,that’s when I look at my team for words of encouragement,of calm,for signs of how to get me back on track to that kind offlow state. So,yeah,in an ideal world,you will see me kind of just very level-headed,very calm,very relaxed,with no negative thoughts,or reactions,or attitude. Everything justflows,and that’s when I play my best tennis.
RAH!
What They Said
Billy Slater on his thoughts on the make up his team for Origin III: “I haven’t even thought of that. We’re still Queenslanders.” Anyone want to have a guess? I think it might have been along the lines of “We’re still Queenslanders,which means we don’t chop and change like you filthy cockroaches,just because we copped a belting”.
NSW’s Liam Martin on the Game III hate he’ll receive from the Lang Park crowd:“It’s part of Origin. There are probably other players they’ll focus on more than me. I’m nothing to them,I guess. They’ll boo. You’ve got no friends up there.”
Maroons win first-ever Women's Origin decider in Townsville.
Following England’s draw with Denmark,England great Gary Lineker told theRest is Football podcast:“I think we have to reflect the mood of the nation. I can’t imagine anyone who is English would have enjoyed that performance because it was lethargic,it was dour. You can think of all sorts of words and expletives if you like,but it was shit. ”
Storm CEO Justin Rodski:“When you think about our culture,where we sit on the ladder,the systems we have in place and the respect we have in the sporting landscape,we absolutely consider ourselves the Sydney Swans of the NRL.”Yeah,fair enough,but our coach smiles!
Gulbadin Naib after Afghanistan beat Australia:“Thank God we at last beat Australia. They are a world champion team,and it is a big achievement for our cricket. We can carry this to the next level.”
Georgian football journalist Dato Lobjanidze after Georgia defeated Portugal to advance to the Euro knockout rounds:“Tbilisi is not going to sleep tonight! There will be lots of celebrations in the streets,people are just shouting and screaming and being happy.”
Latrell Mitchell flew straight from Melbourne to Taree after dominating the Maroons in his long-awaited Origin return.
Georgian player Kvhicha Kvaratskhelia:“This is the best day in the lives of Georgians. When you wear the badge of your country it makes you so proud. It is the best day of my life. Even if there is just a one per cent chance,we proved that you can make it happen.”
Former Hockeyroo Kalindi Commerford on the news that top player Rosie Malone isn’t in the Olympic squad:“She[Malone] is a shell of herself,I’m used to her being this bright,bubbly,extroverted character and I’m looking at a walking ghost.”
Bobby Kersee,the coach of reigning 800m Olympic champion Athing Mu on her falling in the USA trials and not making it to Paris:“I’ve coached it,I’ve preached it,I’ve watched it. And here’s another indication that regardless of how good we are,we can leave some better athletes home than other countries have. It’s part of our American way.”
Toronto Blue Jay Orelvis Martinez was suspended for 80 games two days after making his major league debut. He tested positive for clomiphene,a fertility drug:“In my attempt to start a family,I made a mistake.”Harsh,but fair. We cannot have the world overrun by Little Leaguers.
Jon Rahm not happy with the LIV drones:“Every tournament. It’s f–king incredible. Right on my backswing. These f–king drones every time.” I think he means the little flying buzzy things,but it might be the feral commentariat.
Amy Yang after winning a golf major on her 75th attempt:“I’m lost for words right now. I started doubting myself if I was ever going to win a major before I retire and I’m so grateful and very,very happy to win one.”
Team of Week
Australian cricket team. Lost to – if you can believe it – Afghanistan. While our side was winning trophies,the selectors stuck with the same team through thick and thin,and thinner still. But we now have an underperforming team with most of the players on the high side of 30. Jake Fraser-McGurk is knocking on the door,but who else is there?
Josh Giddey. Became the fifth Australian to join the Chicago Bulls.
RIP Peter Crittle AO. 1939-2024. A great rugby union figure as Wallaby,coach and administrator,the loquacious barrister,bon vivant and wonderful raconteur passed away on Friday. Vale,Peter. You were a great servant of the game and a beacon of the fun and love that could come from it.
Tour de France. Starts this weekend.
Queensland Women’s Origin team.Flogged in the first match,they won Origin II on a last-minute field goal to keep the series alive,then flogged NSW in Origin III. Deep sigh.
Socceroos. In a World Cup qualifying group containing Japan,Saudi Arabia,Bahrain,China and Indonesia,things look suddenly grim.
South Africa. Crushed Afghanistan to make the T20 World Cup final. Just means they’ll choke against India in the final.
Twitter:@Peter_Fitz
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