Erectile dysfunction medication can help break that cycle of anxiety and performance issues. Malouf warns,however,that young men might develop a psychological dependence on these drugs. Common side-effects include headaches,flushing,nausea,nasal congestion and back pain,and Malouf also warns against buying such drugs online."You don't know what's in them,"he says."We should be trying to reassure men that there is a huge spectrum of normal,they shouldn't feel they are underperforming and that the first resort is medication."
Joel murray gives five reasons why he might not get an erection:he is drunk;he is high;his partner won't kiss him;he is hungry;his feet are cold."I have had a guy yell at my dick because it wasn't getting hard,"he says."I was like,'Dude,that is not helping.'"
Dressed in a jacket and scarf,with blue eyes and a moustache,Murray,30,from Melbourne's north,is fit,friendly and gay - and more than capable sexually. He calls himself an"adventure seeker"and was already sexually proficient at age 21 when a partner offered him Viagra. The fact he was taking a pill primarily designed for older men did not give him pause."It was a bit of a thrill,"he says."It was,'Oh,cool,this drug will make me hard as a rock.'"
Initially,Murray put erectile dysfunction medication in the same category as party drugs. Then,in his mid-20s,he was diagnosed with HIV and Hepatitis C,and worried whether he was still attractive to other men. PDE5s gave him added confidence in the bedroom,he says."It was either offered to me or I'd offer it to the other guy and we'd both have it,"he says."Now,taking it is kind of a norm."
Surveys of Australia's gay community by the University of NSW show the percentage of PDE5 users aged under 25 has increased in the past decade from 4.8 per cent to 7.2 per cent. Among young men in general,a survey of 1200 undergraduate students in the United States in 2012 found 6 per cent had used PDE5s recreationally in the previous month,in most cases without a prescription.
Frequent recreational use of PDE5s likely enabled the men to experience erections that were firmer and more durable,the study found,but raised unreasonable expectations about their performance and made anything else seem"sub-par". They were also less satisfied with their sexual lives overall - in part because they began to lose confidence in their ability to achieve and hold an erection unaided.
"I can get it up fine,but sometimes you just want that edge,"says a 26-year-old from western Sydney whom I'll call Thomas. He has black hair and brown eyes and a gym-toned body. He is married and has been purchasing PDE5s online for about four years,in conjunction with using steroids,which dampen his libido. At the peak of his use,Thomas was taking Cialis three times a week.
"You feel pressure if your missus is asking for it,"he says."You don't want to last two minutes or three minutes or five minutes - you want to go 20 minutes. Your normal isn't enough for you anymore. I don't want it to sound like a wonder drug,but it is."
Thomas recently cut back his use of erectile dysfunction drugs,fearing he was becoming dependent on them to perform. He has been developing his own drug-free techniques for prolonging sex,he says:"If you think positive,it will happen."His wife still doesn't know about the drugs. But can't she tell the difference when he does take them?"I tell her she's looking a lot more beautiful,or that maybe it's the lingerie she is wearing."
Joel Murray has also reduced his use of PDE5s,largely as a result of cutting back on party drugs and casual sex."Where there's a really strong physical,emotional and psychological attraction,I don't have any issues with erections,"he says."I like using it because of the confidence,but I don't feel like I need it. I can't rely on getting hard to be the determining factor as to whether or not I enjoy myself."