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Prime Minister Scott Morrison with Tim Stewart.Credit:Rhett Wyman,Facebook

So we all have that certain friend or relative:you know,the kind with unorthodox views. That friend who has a heart of gold,but also one or two loopy ideas. Like maybe this friend believesa cabal of Satan-worshipping,deep-state elites are running a paedophile ring that harvests children’s blood.

Or that Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews and the organs of state are covering up the truth about his “accident” on March 9. Or perhaps this friend is just one of those well-intentioned but slightly misguided types who reckon COVID-19 is a “psy-op”,or that someone other than Martin Bryant carried out the Port Arthur massacre,or that Joe Biden is US President because of “The Big Lie” and there should be a Myanmar-style coup to reinstate Donald Trump – which is,admittedly,an idea even Trump’s former national security adviser,Michael Flynn,endorses.

Sure,at times this friend and their unorthodox views,which they can’t help but disseminate via encrypted messaging apps or shady platforms on the dark web,tries our patience just a tad.

The thing is,in this angry,polarised world we’ve come to believe that anyone whose views differ from our own must be torn down and dismembered,metaphorically speaking of course! Indeed,maybe this certain friend’s own relatives have become so alarmed about his vitriol they’ve reported him to ASIO or the national security hotline. Look,it happens all the time,and it’s sad. But thereis another way. We can learn once more how to agree to disagree,live and let-live. Here are some tips to avoid an awkward dust-up the next timethat opinionated buddy drops in.

Premier Daniel Andrews has become the subject of conspiracy theories.Credit:Office of the Premier

Stop trying to change their mind

Do you honestly think that haughtily lecturing your friend about Daniel Andrews’ accident – with talking points such as “Well,Ambulance Victoria responders received a triple zero call at 6.36am about a patient who had fallen on steps at a house in Sorrento,” and,“Well,Victoria’s Police Chief confirmed police weren’t called to the scene on March 9 and Andrews wasn’t interviewed formally and informally” – is going to convince them the Premier really did just fall? C’mon!

As we all know,this is just one of those arguments neither side can win. So whenever your friend wants to gasbag about the “doctored” photos of Andrews in hospital or whispers knowingly,“Nobody’s got footage of the stairs,” just say,“Mate,I respect your opinion” and ...

Change the subject

That’s right,deflect their attention,just like you do with a toddler. Just pretend your friend is a toddler,even if his complexion – assuming this friend is a “he” – appears radioactive and his leg jiggles uncontrollably and he persists in wearing a coat fashioned from fresh roadkill. And next time he raises that hoary old chestnut “Michelle Obama and Jacinda Ardern are actually men”,try delicately steering the conversation towards something anodyne and neutral.

A QAnon protester in Washington at the January 6 storming of the Capitol.Credit:AP

For instance,ask him to speculate on whether the “Great Awakening”,the moment that accompanies “the Storm”,which will end the cabal of bloodthirsty Satan-worshipping paedophiles who run the world,might inspire Bunnings to hold an outdoor furniture sale.

Don’t provoke them

Think about it:if you don’t want your friend rabbiting on about how the real reason leftist elites wear red shoes is to conceal the blood spatter from slaughtered babies,then don’t leave your own pair of red shoes lying around as an obvious conversation prompt. It’s not that hard!

A bit of tact and tolerance will ensure that loveable-if-sometimes-annoying mate keeps it together just enough for you to enjoy his company and forget he’s in thick with a group the FBI has designated a domestic terror threat.

And if occasionally he lets rip about Daniel Andrews drinking the blood of sacrificed children,and every now and then tries to incite a mob against the institutions of democracy,honestly,what’s the harm? It’s not as if anyone of consequence is listening to him.

It’s not as if a mainstream Australian political party would tolerate their senior figures having any proximity to people who hold such views (regardless of that person’s influence over said senior figure),let alone amplify their agenda by asking questions that,say,imply a cover-up about Andrews’ fall.

So,just fire up the barbie and chill.

Julie Szego is a regular columnist.

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