For those who understand this – and for those who need a gentle,or even not so gentle reminder – here’s a list of updated rules for navigating today’s travel landscape on the plane and in the air with grace. Remember,we’re all in this together.

Keep your body parts to yourself

The person who drew the shortest straw in the middle seats lottery gets to use both armrests. That doesn’t mean they have your permission to splay their legs into your space or fall asleep on your shoulder. A gentle nudge or polite request to sit straighter will suffice.

… that includes your feet

No,the armrest of the person in the seat in front isnot the same as your coffee table at home. You just can’t slide your legs through the gap and chill for hours while you watchGuardians of the Galaxy. In this case,etiquette requires that the person in front applies various methods of torture to your toes,especially if you have bare feet.

Boarding is notThe Hunger Games

The scarcity of room in overhead luggage compartments is responsible for that scrum that builds up at the gate before boarding,with people jostling for first place to get on the plane and snag the coveted compartments. While anxiety about this is understandable,it’s bad form to cut off people,such as the elderly,who need to board first.

… nor is disembarking

It may be human nature to want to get out of the claustrophobic cigar-shaped vessel that has been shooting you through the sky for the past 14 hours as quickly as you can,but standing up before the seat belt light has gone off,elbowing fellow passengers out of the way to get your luggage down first,and then standing in the aisle blocking everyone else’s attempt to get out of their seats,is the height of bad manners. And the height of futility since you won’t get off much sooner.

You bring it,you sling it

Despite what you believe,it’s not the flight attendant’s job to hoist your heavy bags for you,so don’t scowl or grumble if they don’t offer. Often,they do such things anyway and with a smile,but don’t rudely demand attention,act entitled or bring bigotry on board. Never,ever joke about hijacking or crashing. And,please board sober. And stay that way.

Get a room,afteryou’ve landed

For some,flying can be exciting,butreally.

The beauty parlour is closed

You’ve got eight hours and you badly need a pedicure but that’s no excuse to clip,file and buff your toenails with your foot on your armrest – or worse,on the tray table. (It’s also a no-no to change your infant’s nappies on it.) Shaving,plucking and squeezing anything is bad form too. And even if you’re proud of your long hair,the passenger behind won’t be admiring it if it dangles over the seat onto their food tray. Scrunchies are quite fashionable – use one.

Go ahead and recline but courteously so

Seats,well most of them on airlines,are built to recline. Just acknowledge the person behind before you push the back of your seat in their face. Don’t do it when they’re eating. If they’re working on a laptop,politely explain why you need to stretch out. You’re both entitled to some comfort,even if it’s a skerrick.

Still more seat rules

The person by the window controls the window shade,so please ask nicely if you want them to lower it so you can see the dark bits ofDune. The person on the aisle must be prepared to get up whenever any of the other passengers in that row want to go to the loo or for a stretch,even if they’re getting up constantly. Don’t make a mess of your space and dispose of your litter often. Don’t bring smelly food on board. Lay off applying the cloying perfume or aftershave.

Be kind to children

Parents flying with children need our love and respect. Don’t look daggers at screaming babies and chatty toddlers. Perhaps you can help? On the other hand,if the child behind you is kicking your seat repeatedly and the parent is doing nothing,ask the parent firmly and politely to stop the behaviour. Never take it out on the child but it’s okay for sterner words if it persists. Good parental etiquette means you control your children.

Never fly in bare feet

It’s stupid,rude and unhygienic. Do we really have to explain why?

Mask your opinions

Now that mask mandates have been dropped by almost every airline,the Masked Avengers are out there,including tech millionaire Steve Kirsch,who boasted on social media that he’d offered the woman sitting next to him $100,000 to take off her mask. (She declined.) Whether you mask up or not,it’s your choice now. But it’s still poor etiquette to fly when you’re sick and contagious,even when you do wear a face covering.

Agree? Disagree? Share your thoughts and opinions with us attravellerletters@traveller.com.au We’ll publish the best responses.