Japan,it turns out,is the ideal destination for teenage boys because it offers that most precious of commodities:freedom.Credit:Getty Images
Our lives changed rapidly after that. Marriage,kids,a stint overseas for her. Later,divorce for us both. We stayed friends through it all,great friends,and one of the most unexpected joys of our relationship was that our sons,born a month apart,also became great friends. They met when they were toddlers,and embraced being dressed up as fairies by their forceful older sisters with similar patience and good cheer. They would look at each other,lipstick smeared across their faces,and for reasons no-one else could fathom,start laughing uncontrollably.
This became the defining feature of their friendship:the two of them laughing so hard they couldn’t breathe,or talk,and very often fell over. They made plans for a YouTube channel called Stupid Stuff,developed a complicated handshake,and talked nonsense without pause,all of it making them laugh so hard they’d end up on the ground,eyes squeezed shut,banging the floor with one hand to make it stop but also to make it last forever. It was pure joy. Perhaps the Germans have a word for it,but witnessing such delight added a new valency to Julia’s and my friendship,an antic echo of all the fun we’d had.
So we were very excited when,in February 2020,we decided to take the boys to Japan for their 11th birthdays. And then very disappointed when the pandemic meant we weren’t going anywhere in 2020,nor 2021. We didn’t arrive in Tokyo until April 2023.
By then,things had changed. Instead of taking two sweet little boys we were taking two lanky 14-year-olds,unevenly buffeted by puberty,who hadn’t seen each other much in the preceding couple of years. My son,who has asked to be called S-Dog in this article,was into shadow boxing and rap,and in Japan bought himself $5 speed-dealer sunglasses.
Julia’s son,who for reasons that will become obvious I’ll call Karaage,was into boats and dogs. But on the subway that first morning,Karaage made a joke about a parent disciplining a child by taking colour away – I didn’t get it either – and soon he and S-Dog were laughing so hard they had to hang onto the overhead straps to stop from falling over. Julia and I caught each other’s eye:everything was going to be fine.
Japan,it turns out,is the ideal destination for teenage boys because it offers that most precious of commodities:freedom. Despite being home to 14 million people – nearly 40 million,if you count the greater metropolitan area – Tokyo is safe and easy to get around.
Japan’s 7-Eleven stores impressed our boys with its range of affordable meals.Credit:iStock
Every morning,after eating hash browns and karaage chicken from the closest Seven Eleven,the boys were off,carrying nothing but their suica train cards and a pocket Wi-Fi so they could access Google maps. They usually had a vague destination,perhaps Shinjuku or Shibuya,it didn’t really matter. The point was being loose in Tokyo on their own,going wherever they pleased,eating as much fried chicken as they could handle.