“Forget the meat pies,” declares Peter Miniutti of Ashbury. “How much Vegemite is being shipped to our Olympic team in Paris?”
More kids on faith (C8),this time from Robert French of Kiama:“My grandson,who attends a Catholic primary school kindergarten class came home and informed his mother that ‘today we went to the big house’,meaning the church next door. Asked if they had mass there he replied:‘Oh no,you don’t do maths there you just stand up and sit down all the time’.”
“Recently,one of our Thoroughbred mares had a Caslicks procedure,” says Kate Fraser of Scone. “Her trainer left a voicemail message,which when translated by Telstra,came through as ‘Your mare has been Catholicked’.”
“Discussing old ways of telling the time,reminds one of the story of the farmer milking a cow near a village in Italy who was asked the time by a passerby,” writes Barry Ffrench of Cronulla[Things reallyare getting Gallic in here - Granny]. “The farmer lifted the cow’s udder and declared it was 7:05 am. The passerby admitted his astonishment that time could be told by lifting an udder. The farmer replied that was how he could see the village tower clock.”
“I always thought the standard reply to ‘Have you have the time?’ (C8) was ‘Yes,but not the inclination’,” surmises Alynn Pratt of Grenfell.
Janita Rankin of North Dandalup (WA) was witness to “a feisty lady in her ‘golden years’ relating her recent interaction with an unscrupulous gardener trying to charge her more than his original quote. ‘He thought I wouldn’t notice,’ she said,‘but I let him know that I’m no whipper snipper.’ With that image in mind,I could no longer maintain my concerned countenance.”
“Another tabloid innuendo (C8),” laments Teresa Bubear of Bowral:“My brother found an article in theHerald from May 16,1950 titled ‘Two New Portias’ with a sub heading,‘They shopped for frocks to wear in the supreme court’. It is about our mother and her colleague who were the only two women among 29 other solicitors and 13 barristers,being admitted to practice law. The article was in the fashion section! Change was very slow.”
Column8@smh.com.au
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