“During a Christmas post-mortem with an elderly family member,I was given a rundown of various gifts given and received,including the ‘Vincent Price’ toy she had chosen for her three-year-old great-grandchild,” says Janita Rankin of North Dandalup (WA). “I was taken aback trying to imagine what it could possibly be when I realised she meant Fisher Price.” That’s a shame,Granny’s been hunting for aHouse of 1000 Dollsdoll for decades.
We’re not sure whether we should be proud or ashamed after reading the latest missive from George Zivkovic of Northmead:“Anyone who has readThe Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy will know Vogon poetry is of course,the third worst in the universe. It’s sometimes used by the Vogons as a torture method,as it causes physical pain to the reader or listener. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria,but some recent C8 wordplay contributions have emerged as serious contenders.”
Taking inspiration from Alan Phillips (C8),Barry Riley of Woy Woy declares that “this year my new year resolution is to become a ‘do it now’ sort of person,starting tomorrow,or maybe next week”.
“I note there’s a TV commercial asking if you are dehydrated,” writes Jonathan Hornibrook of Newtown. “They suggest taking one of their tablets ($23.99 a pack). One wonders whether drinking a glass of water might not be a cheaper and more readily available solution.”
Evan Bailey of Glebe reckons “rosella fancier Nola Tucker (C8) would be horrified,as I was,to learn that in some parts of the country one can buy rosella jam! I’m not sure if I want to know how it’s made,but nevertheless I understand it’s quite tasty.”
“I hope Pamela Kerr (C8) realises that by passing her driving test in an automatic,her licence will be endorsed accordingly,and she won’t be allowed to drive a manual,” advises Dave Horsfall of North Gosford. “As I told my son,‘this is a good way to stop your mates from borrowing your car!’ Anyway,you don’t drive an automatic:you just steer it.”
“Further to delights of the year 2025,it is only 500 years until the songIn the Year 2525by Zager and Evans comes to reality,” muses Geoff Lindsay of Thurgoona. “I wonder if anyone will be aware of its existence in 500 years?” If so,maybe it’ll rocket up the charts again.
Column8@smh.com.au
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