The parents who have been left behind denied any allegations of violence or abuse and no charges have ever been laid. Some have obtained court-ordered visitation to see their children,but claim the orders have not been enforced and remain largely at the discretion of the parent with sole custody.
Kyoko Takada,an associate professor of family law at Hiroshima University says the laws were designed to protect women both financially and emotionally after leaving abusive relationships in a completely male-dominated society. But the century-old system has come under pressure as Japan’s gender roles have slowly modernised and divorces surged from 0.7 per cent in the 1960s to 33 per cent today.
“In some cases,the mother can’t see the ex-husband because of anxiety or emotional conflict,” she says.
Japan’s domestic violence infrastructure has also failed to keep up,leaving those in abusive relationships struggling to find help from police,while the blanket sole custody rule cuts out parents who have never faced domestic violence charges.
The United Nations Human Rights Committee in November reprimanded Japan over the removal of children from parents,saying it was “concerned about frequent cases of child abductions” and criticised the Japanese government for a “lack of adequate responses”.
The UN’s convention on the rights of the child calls for children to have the right to see both parents.
A 2016 study by the Scandinavian Journal of Public Health found children with access to only one parent had higher levels of psychological complaints and were at risk of worse mental health.
‘I was like his slave’
In some cases,Japan’s system appears to be failing those it was designed to protect.
Saori’s husband abused her and her son so much the neighbours could hear the screams. Then he installed surveillance cameras in every room. He ordered their son not to talk to his mother and then banned them from using electronic devices. “I was like his slave,” she says.
Saori,a Japanese citizen who asked only to be identified by her first name to protect her safety,was also the family breadwinner. “I came home late at night and they were gone. His attorney’s business card was left on the table and a letter that said ‘please contact my attorney if you have anything to say’.”
Distraught,Saori went to the police to tell them her son had been kidnapped. “They said it’s a family issue.”
Nearly 18 months later she still does not know where her son is. Despite submitting evidence of domestic violence,including bruises,intimidation,doctor reports and surveillance cameras to Japan’s High Court,her appeal for custody was rejected in January. The court ruled that her husband was now the child’s primary caregiver because he had spent the past year living with him and had now settled into a school routine.
“He is turning 10 at the end of this month,and again,I’m going to miss his birthday,” she says between tears.
Takada says the ruling is not uncommon. “This kind of situation happens in Japan because the court thinks that keeping the same environment contributes to the child’s interest,” she says.
The professor says those parents who want change to the system should moderate their anger.
“Firstly,they need to calm down their frustration. They should show a more soft and supportive behaviour to the family. I think in Japan,the family culture is not so bad. The situation has improved a lot.”
‘State-sponsored abduction’
Australian father Scott McIntyre believes the entire system is stacked against parents like him. McIntyre has a yellow Interpol notice for his children Hinata and Harugo,identifying them internationally as missing persons since they were taken from his home in May 2019.
“Not only do I not know where they are,but I also don’t know who they are. I don’t know what they’re doing. I don’t know if they’re in school. I don’t know if they died of COVID. I don’t know if they had an accident,” he says.
“And for me,the hardest thing is in four years children change a lot. I can’t even begin to imagine what they look like.
“How did Japan,a country that has one face to the world,that says,‘we’re a modern democratic nation,’ get to this point? How did we get to the point where a father can pass his kids in the street and not recognise them?”
WhenThe Herald,The Age and 60 Minutesvisited Tokyo police with the Sydney father in January,he was told there was nothing they could do.
“This is not a police matter,” a Tokyo police officer said.
“It’s state-sponsored abduction,” claims McIntyre.
Loading
McIntyre has hadrun-ins with the Tokyo police before. In 2020 he was arrested while trying to find his children after he entered the lobby of the apartment building of his in-laws. He spent six weeks in jail and was only released after pleading guilty to trespassing.
“All I want is for them to know that they have a father who’s worried about them,who’s curious about them,who wants to be involved in their lives,who wants to be a father as much as I can in this situation,” he says. “So I’ve made every attempt under the sun to find them. But the walls are so thick,the barriers are so high,and the system is so strong that it’s not easy.”
After four years of campaigning,McIntyre is now losing hope that he will ever see his children again.
“I have to accept the reality that my kids aren’t coming back through the door. The only hope I personally have is that they may choose to reach out to me when they’re adults,” he says.
“But what I want to do is to make sure that this doesn’t happen to any other Australian kids.”
‘Keep quiet to keep Japan happy’
The Japanese embassy bristles at the suggestion that the system alienates parents. Japan’s ambassador to Australia Shingo Yamagami declined to be interviewed but has previously said that Japandid not allow for joint parenthood.
“Because it is based on the idea that if the terms of the relationship between father and mother are not good enough,then children may suffer from dealing with both of them,” he said last year.
He said the system dealt with all cases of “child removal” fairly and equitably,despite his personal experience.
“I went through a divorce to a Japanese spouse and have had my son removed from me,” he said. “I know that the pain never goes away.”
Japan’s government has initiated a public consultation period for a review of the custody system. Of the world’s 20 largest economies,Turkey,is the only other country that gives total authority to one parent. While the Japanese Parliament debates change,the number of Australian parents potentially exposed to the system could grow exponentially.
In January,Australia’s military signed a Reciprocal Access Agreement with Japan. The deal will allow hundreds of Australian troops to be stationed in Japanese bases,binding Australia to its key economic and military partner at the same time as it exposes more Australians to the only major diplomatic issue between the two countries.
“Australian service personnel are going to be up against this,” says Randy Kavanagh,whose daughter Anna was taken by her mother in Takasaki,northwest of Tokyo.
Kavanagh has built a reconciliation centre for parents and children in the town in the hope that he will one day be able to reconnect with Anna. There are bottle brushes growing in the Australian-themed garden,next to eucalyptus and banksias. Inside,the walls are plastered with Indigenous landscapes. On a cold day in January with Nagano’s snow-capped mountains on the horizon,a dozen local kids sit at his feet playing with possum puppets and mimicking Randy in his thick Queensland accent. “G’day mate,” they scream in unison.
The 53-year-old teaches English to primary school students so that he can keep up to date with children the same age as his daughter.
The last time he saw Anna at home she was blowing bubbles in the back garden. That was five years ago.
“There are three platoons of Australian children missing here in Japan. If it was anyone else,there’d be a royal commission. But no,it’s just Australian children over here,and we’ll keep quiet to keep Japan happy,” he says.
Private diplomacy
Potocki,Fleming,Kavanagh,McIntyre and half-a-dozen other Australian parents that did not want to be identified are fed up with the Australian government’s strategy of quiet diplomacy.
“How inappropriate is it for us to have a military alliance with a country that has clear human rights abuses being committed against Australian children,” says Fleming.
McIntyre asks:“Why do we hear from repeated ministers that they’ve raised the issue quietly? It’s not good enough.”
“It’s been raised silently for 20 years. Why does Penny Wong claim to be an ambassador and a warrior for human rights? Why does she writenewspaper columns on International Human Rights Day,declaring that Australia stands for human rights? No. She stands for human rights in countries where it suits her agenda.”
“We have 82 Australian kids that are missing or abducted in Japan. How on earth is the government not standing up and demanding action? Where are these Australian children? For me,when I hear what Richard Marles says,what Mark Dreyfus says,what Penny Wong says,what Anthony Albanese says,that we are great partners,we’re great mates,we’re great friends with Japan. Get out of here. You don’t say this to a nation that’s been systematically abducting your own citizens.”
In a meeting with parents in 2021,a senior Australian embassy official said that this was “an issue where certainly Australian ways and Japanese ways do not align”.
“We have been calling out their behaviours. But it’s got to be done privately. Why? Because our engagement with Japan over many years now ...shows that we get the best outcome when we do that,” said the official.
Wong,Australia’s Foreign Minister,declined multiple requests for an interview.
In a statement,she said Australian parents’ concerns had been raised with Foreign Minister Yoshimasa Hayashi and Justice Minister Ken Saito.
The government has also made a submission to Japan’s custody law review,encouraging Japanese authorities to adopt a joint custody system.
“I understand that the pain and distress these families are feeling is immense,” Wong said. “We will continue to engage with affected families and with the Japanese government to support these families to be reunited.”
A mother’s plea
Melbourne mother of two Catherine Henderson cannot wait any longer.
The English teacher has not seen her children in almost four years after her husband suddenly took her kids and all their possessions from the home they shared in Tokyo.
Her daughter turned 18 in October,leaving Henderson fearing she will be taken off the list of active cases being pursued through the Australian embassy. Her son is 14,but Henderson has no way of contacting either of them in Japan’s labyrinthine system that has driven her through several breakdowns and class actions.
In November,she asked the Australian government to send her daughter a Hogwarts-style admissions letter telling her she is eligible for an Australian passport and can receive consular assistance if she needs it. The United States has sent similar letters to its abducted children in Japan. The Australian embassy drafted a letter. Then Canberra refused to send it.
With little government support,Henderson has been forced to leave a trail of clues for her kids as they grow older. In dozens of videos,she walks the streets trying to find a glimpse of the kids who once built castles on the beach in Sandringham and cuddled koalas on Phillip Island.
On each of their birthdays and her own,she records herself talking to the children she last saw in her living room on that spring day in April 2019.
She hopes that one day they may see them again,but is painfully aware she may not.
Loading
“I never ever imagined in my wildest dreams that I would be apart from you and cut off from you,” Henderson said alone and crying on her couch in Tokyo on the eve of her 50th birthday.
“Something is terribly,terribly,terribly wrong that this is possible. I’ve always loved you no matter what. I think that eventually,you will want to search for your family and want to know your mother.
“Be brave,my little kids.”
Crisis support is available fromLifeline on 13 11 14.
Watch the60 Minutes report.
Tomorrow:How I got my child out of Japan’s ‘black hole’ of abduction
Get a note directly from our foreign correspondents on what’s making headlines around the world.Sign up for the weekly What in the World newsletter here.