Richard is really good at planning and finishing things,whereas I'm a starter. I'm less organised than he is,he's planned our lives for the next 100 years! Early in our relationship,we talked about bucket lists and on mine I had"Swimming with whale sharks",which he arranged. It was spectacular.
I was never interested in getting married,never dreamt of having a big Cinderella wedding – the idea of planning one was my worst nightmare – but Richard took care of it. He has an ability to be present,and makes you feel like you're the only person in the room,which is quite rare. He's the best person I know.
RICHARD:I was at the supermarket buying the rudimentary items you need for survival as a bachelor and I went to the shortest checkout queue,which Haline happened to be in. There was a little half-smile,I responded with a little half-smile,then on the way down the escalators,we started chatting. The conversation wasn't great:I said there was a good vegetable shop nearby and she asked what it was called – and I had no idea. I didn't really dazzle her with my mighty intellect.
Still,there was a little frisson so I thought I'd take a chance,and wrote my number on the back of a receipt and gave it to her. I felt sheepish handing it over but figured if it failed,I'd never see this person again and wouldn't have to admit to it to anyone. I walked away thinking,"She's a bit spesh,"but with low expectations.
We caught up later that night. You never want to skip ahead to the point of being crazy,but there was a genuine sense this person was pretty special. Haline captured the imagination in all sorts of wonderful ways. The next time we met it was just as lovely,and there were all sorts of connections,laughter and silliness. A few weeks later,it was clear to me this was"the"person and I articulated something along those lines. So it all happened quickly.
For my 40th Haline had organised a secret lunch but a mate gave the game away,so I thought I'd out-surprise the girl who was trying to surprise me. Our daughter Amelia helped me write out on pieces of paper the letters ofMarry Me? and give them to our friends,who hid them at the lunch table. During my thank-you speech,I talked about Haline and how she'd added all sorts of amazing colourful dimensions to my every day,then our friends held up the letters.
She was a bit embarrassed and a little annoyed I'd out-surprised the surprise birthday she'd organised. I'd like to think she was a bit moved.
Haline and I were both sceptical of getting married. I was agnostic about it but we decided to go ahead. Our decision was mostly inspired by hearing about people having these great weddings with all their best mates,and that the only other time that happens is at your funeral – and you're very much more part of a wedding than a funeral.
We don't really argue. I bottle things up and eventually articulate what the problem might have been,but I'm non-confrontational. Haline is the same. We're just two really repressed,pent-up individuals!
We have a similar pace and rhythm in life,and both have a sense of the ridiculous,especially Haline. She's clever and thoughtful. And she does impromptu dances in the middle of things and talks to random people at random times – like in supermarket queues.