As a friend she is faultless,although she can be very critical. Sometimes she'll say,"You look ridiculous."I like that she speaks her mind. It's irritating at the time,but I wouldn't change it. If I could change one thing about our friendship,it would be to give us another 50 years.
WENDY: Anna and I have always had a very easy kind of affection for each other. From early on,we started having conversations about the meaning of life. We are still having those discussions today. We talk on the phone all the time. She'll tell me stuff that she probably doesn't tell anybody else,and I do the same. If I'm feeling a bit down,I can tell Anna. It's always been like that. She's like a sister. I can be silent with Anna,too. That's very precious,to be able to sit in a room and be silent with each other.
We were talking recently about what we'd do if we retired,and I said,"Well,you'd read,wouldn't you?"She said she wouldn't be satisfied,so I said,"We have to have a serious conversation about how what you do is not who you are."I said,"If I just saw you as this well-known,disciplined,tough gallerist,I don't think we'd be friends."
I love her generosity. It's not a money thing;it's an emotional thing of being open,listening at the right time,not being judgmental. Just being with you in the space that you're in. Hopefully,that's what I give her in return;being able to be with her without being judgmental. We've never been competitive;there's no need,because we're both our own people.
I accept Anna as a complete person,with all her complexities. I don't necessarily love every facet to the same degree,but I love the complete person. The thing I love most about our friendship is being together in the morning at her place or mine in our jammies,making coffee,not caring what we look like. It's just very easy. There's no nervousness or insecurity.
I would not change anything about her. There's a big difference between tolerating somebody and accepting somebody for who they are,and I feel complete acceptance of Anna. The friendship gets deeper,the more we share the ups and downs of life. We talk all the time about getting older,and figure out how we will cope. We talk about girly things,too:whether to have facelifts,whether to go grey or dye our hair.
Anna decided she would make paella at my New Year's Eve party last year. She arrived with a huge paella plate,which covered the entire stove. Next thing I knew,she was hovering over the stove,constructing this paella in her Issey Miyake evening gown. I said,"For Christ's sake,put on a bloody apron."
I tell her if I don't like what she's wearing. She loves Comme des Garçons,and sometimes I say,"You look like a f...ing matching lounge suite. That thing is wearing you."She won't take it off,though. She should be more in charge of how she looks,though I have noticed lately that she looks a bit more casual,not quite so much like a walking monument. If something happened to Anna,I'd be devastated.
Lunch with Wendy Whiteley,Spectrum.
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