Bev Greet,and Lloyd James:"Bev and I learnt to not be frightened of dying because we have been so close to it so many times."Credit:Josh Robenstone
BEV: I was diagnosed with HIV in 1984,after contracting it from my partner,David,who I’d met three years earlier. David was bisexual,which was something I didn’t even think about then. I had a son,Joe,from an earlier relationship. An ex-partner of David fell really ill in 1984. I didn’t have any symptoms,but after we visited David’s ex in hospital,we were told by the doctors to get tested. When I found out that we were both positive,I didn’t blame David. I didn’t even know women could get HIV. I had Joe tested,too. I was so relieved that he was clear.
After that,David was in denial. Within a year we’d broken up[David died in 1994] and I’d quit primary school teaching in Melbourne because I was worried people would find out. Teachers in the staff room would say things like,“They should be all put on an island.”
I felt extremely isolated. I’d met Lloyd a year earlier through David,because they were friends and had previously been lovers. Initially,Lloyd was just a friend,but then in 1984 I turned to him for support because I knew he also had HIV. Lloyd had been diagnosed in 1982. We’d talk for hours. Lloyd reckons I wore him down for the next two years to make it a relationship rather than a friendship.
Lloyd has a great sense of humour,and we needed to laugh because when we were diagnosed,we were both told we might have only 12 months to live.
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When we got married in 1991,it was among so many funerals of our friends with HIV who I’d met through my work as an advocate. Death was very common among our community,which is why we wanted a big wedding celebration. I proposed to Lloyd. When Lloyd said,“Till death do us part,” we felt death was just around the corner. We just didn’t know which one of us would go first.
In 1993,we both started on anti-viral drugs,which have given us more time than we thought. Still,I was worried about who would take Joe if we died. We had three different offers from couples to take him. That was an incredible relief.
Lloyd is a make-up artist and theatre designer. He’s done make-up for Nicole Kidman. For the past 30 years he’s dyed my hair bright red. It’s just one of the little and many ways he’s helped me.