The message I sent after walking down Caxton Street in Brisbane the night of a recent Broncos game.Credit:Courtney Kruk
Then on Wednesday,ABC News published footage of a Broncos fan being stalked and sexually harassed by a group of men on her way home from an NRL game. The men can be heard yelling:“You better be going home,or I’ll rape you.”
(I can relate – I had to walk down Caxton Street before a Broncos match a few weeks ago and sent this message to a friend:“Walking down Caxton Street right now does not feel safe btw.”)
Which brings us to the man versus bear debate.
The first posts on this topic came from pop culture siteScreenshot,which asked people on London streets if they would rather be stuck in the forest with a man or a bear. Of all the women asked,all but one immediately chose the bear.
Since then,the trend has gone viral,with hundreds of women sharing responses as to why they’d choose the bear. Here are a few.
“The bear would see me as a human being”;“people won’t ask me what I was wearing when the bear attacked me”;“I won’t have to see the bear at family reunions”;“the bear wouldn’t take videos and send it to his friends”;“the bear wouldn’t gaslight me into thinking it was all in my head and that I’m crazy”;“the bear didn’t pretend to be my friend for months beforehand”;and “no one will talk about the bear’s bright future”.
Most women recognise those responses because even if they haven’t endured those experiences,they know someone who has. They choose the bear because the stories and statistics speak for themselves.
While the analogy has allowed some men to better understand gendered violence and the plight of women,others have chosen not to listen or show compassion but,instead,to argue the logistics and deride women for trying to make the issue more accessible.
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On Tuesday,there was another national roundtable,this one called by Domestic,Family and Sexual Violence Commissioner Micaela Cronin. There was also news that Queensland Police wasestablishing “safe spaces” in every police station across the state for victim-survivors reporting domestic and family violence.
Women will keep taking steps forward in this country because we have to – our survival depends on it. And I think most would rather see all men walking with us than arguing to be exempt from the conversation.
Support is available from theNational Sexual Assault,Domestic Family Violence Counselling Service at 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732).You can phone the Sexual Assault Helpline on 1800 010 120 (7.30am to 11.30pm,7 days a week).
No to Violence Men’s Referral Service is the national counselling,information and referral service for men wanting to change their behaviour. If you are concerned about your own or someone else’s behaviour,call 1300 766 491.